Framing is everything
Is this heaven or hell?
Some people are afraid of the water. Surfing and underwater-hockey are not in their agendas.
They don’t even know that people can consider the water fun. They believe that water=fear+death.
I call these beliefs “frames” as they are containers for how we operate in the world.
My frame of water=fun has opened doors to surfing, diving, water skiing, windsurfing, and whitewater rafting. I even tried underwater hockey.
My frames used to have me afraid about public speaking — but I’m not afraid anymore. I have also been afraid of dancing, karaoke, and leather shoes. “Been” being the past-tense, as in “they don’t scare me any more”.
Framing is what makes something a playground or a horror show. Framing is what makes the Rock a hero or a Villain. And framing is 100% flexible in our own heads.
You.Can.Change.Your.Framing.
What do they know?
I have always been curious about how people can do things that I can’t. My frame has been “What do they know that I can learn?”.
“Anyone can learn anything” is one of my frames. I know that learning frames takes effort and that effort is incredibly valuable (having fun with public speaking is gold!!).
Change is constant
I am keenly aware of the shifts in my own frames. It’s not just public speaking and karaoke.
Candy isn’t so exciting anymore, staying current with TV is not a draw, and exercising alone is delightful rather than being dreadful.
Your frame equals your power
When people complain to me that they are powerless — it always comes from a self limiting frame.
This has huge repercussions. If you have self-limiting frames — even when someone puts you in a favorable situation — you won’t be able to move forward. I hear this from people with self limiting frames about exercise, learning, mental health, and their careers. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t — you will be correct.
If Chris Gardner, Madame C.J. Walker, and Bethany Hamilton can be successful — so can you. You just need to learn their frames.
When you don’t believe in changing frames — you are making yourself helpless and powerless in a context where other people have found ways to move forward and be effective. Changing frames is how you can grab your own power to make change happen. Chris, Bethany, and Madame Walker all used their frames to drive their success.
Growth mindsets are fead by evolving frames.
Process
This is my process for finding my negative frames and making them positive
- Pick an area where I see a problem for myself — fear of public speaking is a recent one.
- List the negative consequences of my frame. For this one, stunting my career and the future of our business.
- Find people who are successful — Daymond John, Sophia Amoruso, Shannon Battle, or Irene Diamond.
- Research how they are successful — what do they do/know that I’ve never thought of. What are their beliefs and processes?
- Create my own frame to be successful like Shannon — what lets her be relaxed and having fun on stage?
The process is simple. I have repeated those four steps hundreds of times to reach all kinds of goals. Success does require that you actually do the steps.
Your turn
I am not magic or specially gifted. I sweat and get frustrated and fail regularly. All I know is that finding good frames and doing the work keeps improving my life.
If you want a super power — knowing that you can improve your life with better frames and work is amazingly freeing.
You got this :-)